Let Me Be Happy
by Vinnie K
Summary: Can Alec stop Max? Or is all hell going to break loose? OneShot, MA.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dark Angel or any of its characters…oh poop lol.

**Warnings:** Swearing.

**A/N:** Hello everyone! I'm back with another DA fic and sadly, this one's a one-shot too. Sorry! -hides behind the couch- -calls from behind the couch- But I swear it's good so don't hurt me! -walks out and looks around nervously- Let's just get on with the story…lol

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**Let Me Be Happy**

She threw a pillow at him. He ducked. She threw a book at him. He ducked. She threw a condom at him. He caught it.

Alec looked down at the condom and felt sick. He wanted to run into the bathroom and be sick. He wanted to cough up all the hurtful, gnawing feelings that were crawling around at the pit of his stomach. What had he done? Why had he done it? Was he that reckless? He ways always known for wanting, _searching_ for danger…but was this danger really needed? Was it welcome? Of course it wasn't…but, it could have been welcome. They could try…They could give it a chance. But Max didn't want to give it a chance….She wanted to hide.

Max sat down on the bed and buried her face in her hands. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry…she just wanted to escape. She couldn't handle this. She couldn't handle all the hurt she was feeling. She couldn't handle the silence that was continuous between the two since they found out…since they had found out she was pregnant. _Pregnant_, Max thought in disgust. _This is too much…_ Max stood up, wiped her face tiredly and started to walk to the door.

"Max? Don't go…" Alec said quietly.

'Don't go…' The same words he used that night. The night he slept with her. The night she became pregnant. Previously, those words had stopped her and today they stopped her again. But not for the same reason. That night she stopped and looked at him with passion, with hope…with _love_. But today, those emotions weren't present…not on the surface. Max looked at him, and this time only hurt, anger…_pain_ were present.

"Don't go Alec?" Her voice was tiny and yet it held strength. She wasn't going to break down. "I am going Alec. Just the sight of you…it makes me sick." She spat.

It was like a dagger to his heart. How could the girl that had captured his heart, his mind, his soul say these things? How could she feel such resentment towards him? He knew he made a mistake…he knew he made a big mistake not wearing that condom, but somehow, Alec thought it'd be okay. He thought, obviously in vain, that she would want the child. That she'd love to give it the life she didn't have. Too bad he was wrong.

Alec walked up to Max so he could look into her eyes and say what he had to say. They were cold, like ice. He took a deep breath and asked, "Can't we try?"

"Try what Alec?" Max laughed bitterly. "Try and give it good life?" She shook her head, "Be realistic."

He reached to take her hand but she snatched it away. "Don't touch me Alec." Her voice was dangerously low and the look in her eyes…they sent cold shivers throughout Alec's body. "I don't want you to ever touch me again 'cause the last time you touched me…look at what happened."

"Max please, I'm begging you…Can't we just talk about this?" Alec pleaded. _This just can't be happening…It just can't._

"No, Alec." Max said shaking her head. She took the doorknob into her hand and started to turn it but then something stopped her. Something stopped her because somehow she knew that is she opened the door, if she left him, she'd regret it. She wouldn't be able to cope. She wouldn't be able to cope with the loneliness of not having the man she loved near her.

Max let go of the doorknob but she didn't turn around. If she turned around she wouldn't be able to speak…because the sight of the pain in his eyes, it'd just be too much for her. Max knew if she looked at him, she'd either break down or kill him…and she wasn't prepared to do either. So she kept her back to him and started to speak. Her voice was soft, shaky…serious. "Look Alec, this…this child. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't have to experience…all this…all this hurt."

Alec was about to reply but Max cut him off and continued. "This world isn't right for them Alec. It's crazy, unpredictable and just…hurtful." Max hung her head and closed her eyes, stopping the tears from cascading down. "I don't want to bring up a child in such…such danger. We may be safe in TC but you can't just forget the fact that White's still out there. He wants us Alec. He wants you, me and when he does get us…he's going to _kill_ us Alec." Max paused when she heard him come closer to her. "He's going to get us Alec and…and when he gets me…he'll get our child," Max placed a hand on her stomach and opened her eyes, letting her tears flow. "He's going to kill it when he finds us. It's only a matter of time Alec." Max sniffed, "I guess I want to do it before he gets a chance to."

"Max…" Alec begun but stopped himself when he let it actually sink in. Max wanted to abort their child. She didn't want it. She wanted it gone. She wanted to kill it… _She can't_, Alec thought. _She…She wouldn't kill another life. But she already has_, another part of Alec thought. She's a soldier, she was born to kill and heck, she's done it before. His own brother, _her_ own brother, Ben. She had snapped his neck in the forest. _But she had too_, Alec reasoned with himself. _He asked her to, he didn't want to go back to Manticore, he _couldn't _go back._ Alec shook his head; _it was a totally different situation. This is her child, _our _child…she can't just get rid of it…_

"Max…" No response. "Max…" Still no response. "_Max…_" He sighed. "Max, face me." She didn't move. "Max, _look_ at me." He said sternly. She still didn't move and instead kept her back to him. "Max!" Alec said grabbing her shoulders and roughly turning her to face him. Max looked at him and saw how angry he was. "Max you can't kill our child!" He said half angry, half pleading.

"Let go of me Alec!" Max said trying to pull herself away from him but he just tightened his grip on her. But who was she kidding? He was just as strong as her, maybe even stronger.

"I'm not letting you go until you actually listen to what I have to say." Alec paused and when he saw her look to the ground he continued but in a softer tone. "Max…" He breathed, loosening his grip on her shoulders. She looked so broken, yet in Alec's eyes…she was still as beautiful as she was the first time he saw her in her cell back at Manticore. Alec swallowed the lump forming in his throat and began. "Max, you need to realize that this child is mine too. You might hate me right now, you might hate me forever for not using that condom but…but if you kill this child…if you murder that precious life…I-I don't think I'll be able to manage. I don't think I'll be able to cope with the emptiness Max."

Max looked up, she looked into his eyes with her own tear-filled ones and asked, "But would you be able to cope with the emptiness that child brings Alec?"

"What do you mean Max?" Alec asked confused at her question.

"Would you be able to cope with the emptiness that child brings?" She asked again not removing her eyes from his. "Because Alec, we're going to loose him or her soon enough. White will catch us and then…then he'll kill all of us." Max choked out. Her eyes fell from his face and started to concentrate on the floor again. She didn't want him to see her cry, no way. She wanted to stay strong because that's what soldiers did right? They were strong, unbreakable. _Unbreakable my ass_, Max thought as she started to sob freely.

"Hey…Hey Max, sssh." Alec soothed as he took Max into his arms allowing her to hear his heartbeat. "It's not going to happen Max…" Alec closed his eyes and swallowed, "I won't let it happen."

Max's sobs started to become stronger, "But we can't stop it Alec…H-he's going to kill-"

"Max! He's not going to hurt us, no way. And he's got no hope in hell of killing our child." Alec interrupted her as he hugged her closer. Was this really the Max he knew saying all these things? Was she really so…so weak inside? Alec couldn't believe it, it just wasn't possible. Why was Max thinking so negative? Okay, so there was a chance that White was on to them but they could worry about that when it actually happened…not when it was miles away. Alec just wanted to focus on Max and his child. _My baby…_Alec thought as he kissed the top of Max's head. _My baby…_

_But you have to kill it to save it from the pain of this world, you just have to Max._ All Max could think was that same thought, she had to kill her own child just to save it from being tortured and destroyed cruelly by White. But she didn't want to. Max knew Alec was right; he always was in some weird way. He might not have always acted like he knew what he was doing but he always did. He always had a plan, even if it was a bad one. Max smiled faintly through her tears remembering all the different ideas Alec had and how annoying it was when they'd go sideways resulting in her having to get him out of them. That calmed her slightly, the thought of her protecting Alec. _He's crazy…But he's also right_, Max thought. _I can't kill my child. I can't take away its right of life. I just have to protect it…somehow. _

Max pulled away from Alec slightly so that she could look him in the eye. "I can't…" Max paused and took a long, deep breath trying to steady herself. "I can't do it…" Max shook her head and offered Alec a small smile. "I won't kill my baby Alec. I'm not going to put myself through that," Max paused and looked into his hopeful eyes. They were practically begging Max. His eyes, his soul, his whole being, they just wanted her words to be true. "I'm not going to put _us _through that Alec."

Alec's eyes roamed over the sight in front of him. Max looked at him with such confidence that he was positive that she wanted this child. She couldn't abort it; Alec had known that from the start. But there was still a part of him, a nagging voice, which was questioning the situation. Did she finally mean it? Was she ready to accept that they were going to have a beautiful child together? Alec shook his head slightly. This was Max after all, when she said something she meant it. So if she was going to keep her child then…Alec gave Max a small, reassuring smile and hugged her small frame to his chest. Smoothening down her hair and breathing in her scent, Alec looked up to the ceiling and hoped someone was listening to his pleas. He hoped someone wanted to help him out. He wished someone wanted to let him stay with Max and their unborn baby. He just longed for someone to finally let him be happy.

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So…what do you think? I think this is a one-shot, I'm more than happy to leave it as a one-shot, but if enough people really think that it'd be good as a follow on then I guess you'd better let me know in your lovely reviews that I'm sure you'll leave after reading this little paragraph : ) …oh and if people haven't got the hint by now what I meant to say was, **R E V I E W!** lol 


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